The Two Faces of Joy: Why Chasing Pleasure Isn't Enough for a Truly Happy Life
For some of us, it might involve lounging on a comfortable couch, binge-watching a favourite show, eating a delicious meal, and feeling a sense of ease and relaxation. For others, it might be a day spent working on a challenging project, learning a new skill, volunteering for a cause you care about, or having a deep, meaningful conversation with a friend.
Both of these scenarios describe happiness, but they are two very different kinds of happiness. For centuries, philosophers and, more recently, psychologists have explored this fundamental distinction. They've given these two types of happiness names: hedonia and eudaimonia.
Understanding the difference between these two forms of joy is crucial for anyone trying to build a truly fulfilling and lasting sense of well-being. It’s a concept that resonates deeply in our modern world, where we are often told to simply "chase what feels good," but many of us are still left with a nagging feeling of emptiness after the fleeting pleasure has passed.
Hedonia: The Happiness of Pleasure and Comfort
Hedonic happiness is the one we’re most familiar with. It's the feeling we get from positive emotions, pleasure, and the avoidance of pain. It’s about feeling good in the moment. Think of it as the "happy now" feeling. It’s what you feel when you:
Eat your favourite dessert
Get a good massage
Relax on a beach during a holiday
Buy a new gadget you've been wanting
Watch a funny movie and laugh
In the context of our daily lives in Mumbai, hedonic happiness might be the joy of finding an empty seat on the local train, the delicious taste of a vada pav, or the satisfaction of a successful shopping trip.
The pursuit of hedonic happiness is a powerful motivator. It's tied to our brain’s reward system, which releases neurochemicals like dopamine that make us feel good and encourage us to repeat the behaviour. It's a vital part of life; after all, who doesn't want to feel pleasure and comfort?
However, the major drawback of relying solely on hedonic happiness is the hedonic treadmill. This is the psychological phenomenon where we quickly return to a baseline level of happiness after a positive event. The initial thrill of a new phone, a pay raise, or a new relationship eventually fades, and we find ourselves wanting more. It's an endless cycle of chasing the next pleasure high, but never quite reaching a lasting sense of contentment.
Eudaimonia: The Happiness of Purpose and Growth
Eudaimonic happiness is a more profound and lasting form of well-being. It was a concept originally championed by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle. He argued that true happiness, or "the good life," wasn't about fleeting pleasure, but about living a life of virtue and purpose, realising our full potential. It’s about feeling a sense of meaning and personal growth.
Eudaimonic happiness comes from:
Engaging in activities that align with your core values
Working towards meaningful, long-term goals
Helping others and contributing to your community
Learning and mastering a new skill
Building deep, authentic relationships
In the context of Mumbai, eudaimonic happiness might be the fulfilment you feel from mentoring a junior colleague, the satisfaction of overcoming a difficult obstacle in your business, the sense of connection you feel from volunteering at a local charity, or the joy of seeing your family thrive because of your hard work.
Eudaimonic pursuits can sometimes be difficult and challenging. Learning a new skill requires effort and can be frustrating. Working on a meaningful project might involve long hours and setbacks. But the satisfaction that comes from these efforts is deeper and more durable than the fleeting pleasure of a hedonic experience. It’s not about feeling "happy now," but about feeling "happy with my life as a whole."
The Crucial Balance: Why We Need Both
At first glance, it might seem that we should reject hedonic happiness and only pursue eudaimonic goals. But that would be a mistake. A truly fulfilling life requires a balance of both.
Hedonic moments are like the dessert of life. They are the moments of pleasure and comfort that make the hard work of eudaimonic pursuits worthwhile. Taking a break to relax and recharge is essential for avoiding burnout. Sharing a good laugh with a friend, indulging in a favourite hobby, or enjoying a delicious meal with family all contribute to our overall well-being. They provide the positive energy and emotional resources needed to tackle more challenging, purpose-driven activities.
Imagine a life with only eudaimonia and no hedonia. It would be a life of endless effort and self-improvement, with no time for rest, pleasure, or simple joys. Such a life would likely lead to exhaustion and a feeling of being constantly on a treadmill of duty.
Conversely, a life with only hedonia and no eudaimonia would be one of shallow, fleeting pleasures, ultimately leading to a lack of purpose, meaning, and long-term satisfaction. This is the danger of the hedonic treadmill—you’re running fast, but you're not going anywhere that truly matters to you.
The key to a truly happy and fulfilling life, therefore, is to consciously pursue a balance between these two types of happiness.
Integrate Hedonia into Your Eudaimonia: Find ways to make your purpose-driven activities more enjoyable. If you're working on a challenging project, take breaks to enjoy a cup of tea. If you're volunteering, make sure to celebrate the small victories and enjoy the company of your fellow volunteers.
Use Hedonia to Fuel Your Eudaimonia: Don't feel guilty about enjoying a good meal or a relaxing evening. View these hedonic moments as a way to recharge your batteries so you can tackle your more meaningful goals with renewed energy and focus.
Ask Yourself the Right Questions: When evaluating your life, don't just ask "What makes me happy right now?" Also ask, "What gives my life meaning? What am I doing that aligns with my values? What am I learning and how am I growing?"
Building a Life of Balance: Practical Steps
So, how do we practically apply this in our daily lives?
1. Define Your Values and Purpose: Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you. What are your core values? What kind of impact do you want to have on the world, your community, or your family? This clarity will help you identify the eudaimonic pursuits that will bring you the most satisfaction.
2. Schedule Both Types of Happiness: Don't just let hedonia happen by chance. Consciously schedule time for both pleasure and purpose. Plan an evening to relax with a good book (hedonia) and also schedule time to work on that personal project you've been putting off (eudaimonia).
3. Move from Maximiserr" to "Satisficer": Remember our earlier discussion about the Paradox of Choice? Maximizers, who chase the "best" of everything, are often trapped in a hedonic pursuit that leaves them unsatisfied. By becoming a satisficer—someone who is content with "good enough"—you free up mental energy to focus on more meaningful, eudaimonic pursuits.
4. Find Your "Flow": As we discussed in a previous blog post, the state of "flow" is a perfect example of a balanced experience. It's both inherently enjoyable (hedonic) and deeply engaging, often tied to personal growth and skill-building (eudaimonic). Seek out activities that allow you to get lost in the moment and experience this perfect balance.
5. Practice Prosocial Behaviour: Helping others is a powerful way to experience eudaimonic happiness. It aligns with our deep-seated need for connection and purpose. Find small, regular ways to contribute to the well-being of others in your community.
6. Learn to Savour: Don't just experience pleasuresavouror it. When you're eating a delicious meal, slow down and truly taste it. When you're relaxing, be fully present in that moment of rest. This mindfulness can make a hedonic experience feel more meaningful and less fleeting.
7. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your week. Ask yourself, "Did I have enough moments of pleasure and rest? Did I also engage in activities that gave my life meaning and a sense of purpose?" Adjust your schedule accordingly to find a better balance.
The Good Life: A Beautiful Blend
The distinction between hedonic and eudaimonic happiness isn't just an academic exercise. It's a practical framework for building a more fulfilling and sustainable life. A life where you not only feel good in the moment but also feel good about the direction of your life as a whole. A life where the simple joys of pleasure are celebrated, but where they are also supported by a strong foundation of purpose, meaning, and personal growth. It's in this beautiful blend that we find the true essence of a well-lived life.